I was born in a traditional Romanian family, in a communist time where everyone had to be the same.
As all the people around me, I had a ton of limiting beliefs about what is good or wrong, about what you should believe and should become. This constant state of confusion and separation made me want to run away, to escape. On top of that, I always had huge emphatic tendencies and my parents called me “The sensitive one”. I really struggled to fit in.
Looking back at my past now, I realize I have developed a high sense of endurance, having experienced physical and emotional abuse at home and bullying at school.
I remember my teenage years, where everyone had to wear the same uniform and I absolutely hated the way I looked wearing it. As if that wasn’t enough, when I got home I had to wear the same clothes as my older sister. My mother used to dress us the same, as there were only one and a half years difference between us. Everyone called us the twin sisters, but we were so far away from being twins.
One day, that pattern broke. Finding myself walking the streets of my hometown, I saw a girl from my class wearing a long summer dress, which complimented her features in a beautiful way. I was stunned as she looked so different from the usual uniform. I stopped for a second and I said to myself: “Wow, that style could really suit me!”. It was actually the first time when I dared to give myself permission to choose what I really like for myself.
This was the turning point when I stepped into my freedom. It made me rebel against the fake values that were imposed on me, like belonging in a “box”, becoming just one color on the spectrum. Freedom of choice was born for me in that very second.
On the other hand, I could see the beauty that surrounded me every day in the nature. This allowed me to appreciate and cherish the essence of life and trust the cycles of change. A part of me still believed that change is possible and that I can be more than what they expected me to be.
Later on I fell in love with the person that I believed was my true love and soul partner. Few years later we got married and we moved together to London with new hopes and dreams. We teamed up and we worked together towards the same dream and the same goal: building a better life. Little did I know that I was about to do a very daring jump into unknown.
I came across multicultural beliefs and behaviors and, once again, I found myself struggling to fit in. My marriage was challenged by multiple temptations, but I continued to hang on to the original dream that we are a team for life. It was impossible for me to accept that he had already chosen a different dream and a different team. I found myself feeling alone in my relationship. I refused to believe that there could be some other way of experiencing life or a different end to my love story.
One day, when I shared my story with a good friend, she asked me a question that came as a lightning to break all the structures and rigidity of the love story that I had built: “Who are you without him?”. Asking myself that very question I realized that for the last 18 years I had introduced myself to people as “his lady”, instead of Camelia, my name.
… “So, who am I?”
This was the question that opened the door to self-healing.
Few months later, freshly divorced, I found myself spiraling down in what people call “the dark night of the soul”. This time I chose not to be alone: I had myself.
So, a new journey of self-discovery began, one that would take me to many courses to understand my emotions, my belief systems and the quantum field that unites us all. I understood how the law of manifesting works and why we attract certain situations and people in our lives. I noticed how similar our wounds and our stories are.
After 10 years of personal work and meticulous studying, I discovered my true self and now I manage to bring into my work the core essence of who I truly am. Through guidance from my teachers, mentors, the universe and my Higher Self, I now stand before you. Humble, row and ready to honor your journey!